ぇ(´｀）

Hello all.

This is a very sad, deep and reflective post. Please feel free to skip if you don't want to read.

I will try to come back soon with my regular posts when I'm ready. Thank you.

 I'm really sorry for disappearing for such a long time again.

This time has been really sad

I lost someone very dear to me a few weeks ago

It has been very difficult everyday since and I force myself to get up for work

I don't do much else other than that and to just sleep

Sometimes I just start crying from thinking about it

It was so sudden and fast and we went to the doctor as soon as it happened

But it felt like that didn't make the difference at all and that I failed them

If it had to happen to anyone I rather it was me instead

But here I am everyday without them

My husband and friend at work worry about me 

I don't eat much anymore

I end up doom scrolling on Insta to just keep distracted when I can't work or sleep

I'm really not sure if and when I'll ever be happy again

They weren't even here that long and it really feels like it was my fault

So much love and not enough time

I can't do this anymore