日曜日, 4月 28, 2024



It’s been a while. 


 suppose you guys want to know what happened. I do see you deserve an explanation. 


My anxious and depressed self got the better of me. I became depressed and didn’t want to interact with anyone. But I also felt like no one wanted to interact with me. 


Even at work. 


So I got rid of even more social media and cleared out my insta even more. I stopped posting. I’m still gyaru but I just don’t participate anywhere. 


The only person that sees anything but I didn’t reveal any of these feelings to is my husband. 


It all started with finding out one of our rabbits had a cancerous growth. All we can do is wait to see if it comes back and then we can think of something else. But my mind went to a horrible place. Things got really bad for a while and I was giving up. I even felt like my head was going over this time. 


A few popped in and asked how I was. All I could answer was that “I’m existing”.


We went on vacation. To take a break, get a complete hair makeover and changed my last name. We mostly stayed home after the few little trips and just played video games together. 


When I got back to work, my coworkers said they missed me. Now I can’t say for sure if they actually meant it or it was just having another person in again, but it would be nice. Having been there for some time I like to imagine if I’m actually friends with any of them. 


I really don’t have friends here. And all of the ones I used to talk to are busy with their own lives. I don’t expect anyone to keep in touch with me. I lost a few over the last year. And I just keep to myself now. 


Social media is something I’ll go on when I’m super bored. I can’t be like others constantly staring at it. Or posting for just a few likes. I’m definitely not in the “gyaru community” especially now. I don’t think I’ll go back to posting anything really. 


I even took a lot of time thinking to make a post on here. I was thinking about quitting this blog. But writing is the only thing I have left. And even if no one wants to read about all my randomness, my feelings or even some outfit or outing posts, at least I can write it for me. 


I gave up crafting even though I miss it. But I can’t justify the money or space for supplies right now. Maybe for little presents but no more business. I can’t even sell my secondhand gal clothes. I never got to the donation center to get rid of them. I guess I’ll have to try next time.


That’s pretty much the gist of what’s been going on. Don’t expect anyone to reach the end.

このブログは引き続き日本語と英語で書くつもりです。だから、学び続けられるように最善を尽くします。そしていつか、Google の助けを借りずに投稿できるようになるかもしれません。

I’m still going to make this blog Japanese and English. So I’ll do my best to try to keep learning. And maybe one day I’ll be able to make a post without googles help.


Thank you for reading this far if you did. I hope when I do get to write again it will be a better post. Go ahead and throw me any questions in the comments if I didn’t answer it all. 



3 件のコメント:

Sparklewolfie さんのコメント...

Aw, sorry to hear you're feeling down! Take some time to yourself if that's what you need.
Some friendships do fade with time (I know when I moved, I lost some friendships too) and that's ok! We need to put in the effort to reach out to others if we want to maintain relationships (can't expect others to do all the work!) even if it won't always work out.
Posting on social media can be mentally taxing if you're hoping for likes and comments, so only do it if you are ok with no interaction is my concept. I like to have a record of my outfits that I enjoyed sort of as a keepsake!

Hope you get your mojo back soon. I will be looking forward to your next blog post! 💖

MεΛ さんのコメント...

It was nice hearing from you. I've been in some deep sht as well these months & I've been really trying.
Don't ever think about quitting your blog. Period. This is your.space. I read your blog coz I like the way you blog. Yes, I found you because of gyaru related content but it does not mean just because you don't post gyaru etc I (personally) won't read. Yes, found you through that but what made me stay is you as an individual.
It's you above any social media stuff, really. The fact that you have your husband is a blessing ;-;
We all get forgetful because life happens & even with friends who care about us, just also forget to send us a message. I also do that & when I catch myself, I immediately send a message. So no worries~
Also, this right now, us commenting on your posts is a community. Your own community so no need to meddle with communities that you don't feel right being in <3

Sending you a hug <3 Do whatever you do for yourself, expressing yourself is like breathing.

黒い Amiman さんのコメント...

Writing has my heart. So even if you're using the blog solely to express your feelings, I'd be happy. Take your time, but please don't go for good. *hugs* Just the other day I wore your jewelry and I got so many compliments ♥ I mentioned you each time but I understand not doing it for business anymore. (I have supplies just collecting dust so I feel you wholeheartedly.) I consider you my friend, and I only want the best things in life for my friends. I'm beginning to ramble now but I can't express how much I missed reading your blog (づ◡﹏◡)づ