I feel a little better now that I vented. It helped a little. Also took the time to color my hair and put some curling product in it to revive my curls and waves.
It's a bit different than I expected. I am playing around with blondes now. Maybe one of these days when I have a bit of extra spending money I can get it done professionally. . . And maybe it will come out more like how I want it instead of a mystery w